He stood under the hot spray of water in homid, letting it wash over him, standing still. He didn't have aching muscles, or wounds, but it was a comforting thing. It might help, he thought. But it didn't, his brain was still going to go a hundred miles a minute. Especially now. He reached out for the little thing of organic shampoo, squeezing some into his hair and scrubbing, attempting to distract himself from what had happened. From what had started to build. Ducking his head back under the water, he tried to chase away to overthinking.
This...This wasn't like him. He didn't show an interest in people. He didn't let them close. He just....didn't. He had packmates, but that was different. That was.....it was caring for someone, but not quite in the same way. There were...Layer. Yes Layers. Like that movie his bone gnawer buddies watched. And this was. This was. Fuuuuuuck. He paused in scrubbing at his hair to freeze a moment as the thoughts caught up. He didn't care what other people thought. But was he reading too much into this? He.....He didn't know....she seemed interested? Maybe? He could hope....maybe she would change her mind? What would he do? That....That was.....
He slapped himself lightly. Stop it! You are an elder of the....Well. An ELDER! Behave like one. School your thoughts. Don[t think about how nice she smelled...........that wasn't helping. She smelled good. He had stopped wandering around in lupus earlier today because he kept smelling her everywhere, and it was distracting him. That wasn't bad. no no no no no. not a bad distraction. But it kept him thinking on that, instead of what he needed to do for the caern building. That was important. They needed a caern before he could really consider cour.....
nope, cut off that line of thought old boy. too early for that at all. After all, you havn't even talked to the eldest of the children of gaia yet....that message was sent though.....fuck. what did he say. what was he going to say to an elder ahroun? not in the face, not in the face? wait, no that wasn't right. It was a child of gaia. DAMMIT. he didn't pack the awakened weed. That would have been the best bribe! Oh well, he would make do. Somehow.....Okay, finish washing. Check messaging. Chase the dream....
He continued to scrub himself down, eyes distant, lost in though, a faint smile on his lips. Chasing a dream....he hadn't done that in a long time. Duty, Duty, Duty. Follow the prophecies, fight for the nation, figure out where h e was needed in the umbra. This....This was different. It was new territory to explore. And he liked exploring. Maybe, just maybe, he could explore with someone at his side? He......he let himself dare to hope. Because hope gave them strength to continue forward. To dare the tough things that were to come.
Reaching out, he shut off the water, eyes resolute. This....was going to be the toughest endevor of his life he had a feeling. And the most rewarding, if it went the way he dared to hope. And that made all of this worth it.
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