Learn to be Dauntless

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Kat Sawyer
Ragabash Representative
Posts: 524
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:10 am

Learn to be Dauntless

Post by Kat Sawyer » Fri Aug 23, 2019 6:46 pm

Kat laid awake for a long time that night. In his mind he kept hearing Kiran’s words…

… you have the right attitude… so maybe you're a perfect fit and didn't realize'.

… Why not just advocate from your point of view? Stan Lee, Siegel and Schuster, you, they all used their medium to advocate. Just because you're in a different forum, doesn't mean your message has to change. Just its presentation…

… we're not shopping based on prior knowledge - we're shopping on temperament, commitment, and your personal views…

… We're all happy to give you the facts you need to know…

Damn… now he was tearing up again. Kat sighed dramatically and took off his glasses, tucking them into a nook beside his pillow for safe keeping. He turned the shades on the bunk opaque so that he could have privacy, and maybe sleep… Who was he kidding? How could he possibly sleep? Despite his best efforts, eventually he couldn’t drown out the other voices in his head… the ones that had plagued him his whole life with doubt and uncertainty.

Every kid who picked on him in elementary school for his height, or his hair, or his ‘cry-baby’ attitude…

Every bully in middle school who pushed him into lockers and vandalized his stuff for his muttering, or his shyness, or his “nerdy” obsession with superheroes and comics…

Every kid who told him he was useless, every teacher that said he would never make something of himself if he pursued a career as an author and illustrator.

As a child he put up with it for years, way longer than he should have. And despite the fact that he knew better now, that he knew his appearance didn’t matter and that there was nothing wrong with having emotions, he still couldn’t help but feel small sometimes. He tried to ignore the bullies in middle school, he tried to walk away, he even tried to stand up for himself. It only made things worse. And then there was the accident, their fault, even if none of them were driving the car that hit him. He had been told he’d never really walk again, that he might be permanently blind. Well, his eyes still sucked, but he could see with a little help; and thanks to Dickson’s intervention he had regained the ability to walk, and run, and do… most things as long as he wasn’t stupid about it. Those early teen years had been about way more than physical therapy and homeschooling. Dickson finally got in through his skull that people had been wrong about him, that he could do whatever he wanted and as long as he put his all into it, he would succeed. He had learned how to love himself more, and how to quiet the doubts that made him think he was worthless. He had gotten stronger, and not just mentally. Over a year of intense physical therapy had honed his body through puberty into something that could make some real impact. And even after he’d healed as much as he was going to, he kept up with all of it. The running, the weights, even some self defense classes. And his new high school was great, a charter school dedicated to the Arts. A place where, even if he was still a Nerd and Geek, he wasn’t shunned for it. A place where he could make friends and pursue his passions. It seemed like everything would be okay after that, like his whole childhood and youth worth of mistakes were finally in the past…

And then there was Rachael, God, Rachael… He loved her so much, and he had thought she felt the same about him. A senior in high school at the time he’d met her. She said she loved him, that she needed him, that she would never leave him. And so he told himself that it was love that made her so jealous and possessive, that she only got angry with him because she was a Garou and couldn’t help it, that it was his fault for pushing her buttons, for saying or doing the wrong things. Even when he ended up bleeding out from her claws, watching abstractedly as two Garou he didn’t know tried to pull her out of frenzy, there was conviction in his mind that it was all his fault. Thank God for Garou healing gifts… they saved his ass yet again… or his chest and stomach. His ass in that case was remarkably unaffected. Though that likely would have been different if he’d run like he should have. What made him think he could talk his fiancé out of frenzy? At the time he may have been dumb about the whole thing… these days he realized just how many poor life choices he had made throughout the years.

He could only pray that this Council thing wasn’t another one. He’d come a long way since Rachael. It had taken his family, and his friends, and weekly visits with a therapist to get him there; but at least now he could look back on that relationship and recognize the abuse for what it really was. At least now he knew that it hadn’t been his fault, and he hadn’t deserved it. He had poured his heart into his work after the breakup, wanting to stay as far away from relationships as possible. It was when Dauntless was born. He’d created Dex back in middle school, after the accident while he was stuck in a hospital bed with his legs in traction; but the stories, the challenges, the villains… they came later, they came in the middle of sleepless nights and panic attacks, bouts of depression and self-hatred. Through Dex, Kat was able to be brave, he was able to stand up to bullies, speak his mind, trust in other people, save the city… see the good in the world.

Dex had been just a regular boy who became a hero. Not because he was born to it, not because he was perfect, but because he was willing to keep going, he refused to give up. He was… dauntless. Kat could do that. He could learn to be strong, he could work hard to help others, and he could definitely refuse to give up. Kat could be dauntless too…

When he finally opened his eyes again, he knew what he had to do. He had already agreed to help Kiran and the Ragabash, but Hope said that a person couldn’t hold the position of Moderator if they were already a Representative. It wouldn’t be fair to keep his name on the ballad, even if the only vote he got was from the person who nominated him.

Kat rolled over onto his stomach and turned on the monitor. "Hope?" After a moment the AI appeared on the screen.

"Yes, Mr. Sawyer?"

"So... I uh... I'm really sorry to be a bother." He sat up, crisscrossing his legs. "But... I- I think I have to drop out of the Election for Moderator. I uh... well... Kiran asked me to become the Ragabash's Council Representative... and I sort of said yes... I know it'll probably be a hassle for you and stuff, but I hope it's okay. I mean... as long as no one’s voted for me you can just take my name off the ballad. Right?" There was a short pause before the reply came.

"I can take your name off the ballot. Either way it will have to be reset once the vote for Kinfolk Representative ends." The answer was gentle, if more evasive than usual.

He smiled and nodded. "Thank you so much Hope. Again, I really hope it wasn't a bother... and... for what it's worth, thanks for helping us out in the meeting the other day. I didn't expect that you would be able to prepare something so quickly... but I'm glad you did. I was really worried for a moment there that people were going to start fighting."

"Cooler heads prevailed." She smiled gently. "Like yours." Hope nodded lightly. "Good luck, Mr. Sawyer."

"Thanks Hope. Goodnight!"

He felt lighter, better in a way; at least this way he didn't have to worry about misleading anyone. He turned off the monitor and decided to try again for that elusive thing called sleep.

((Thank you to Symphony for running that conversation between Kat and Hope for me!))
Last edited by Kat Sawyer on Thu Sep 05, 2019 12:23 am, edited 3 times in total.
Kat Sawyer
Fianna Kinfolk (He/Him)
PB: 3 | WP: 6
Strength: 4 (Wiry), Perception: 4 (Attentive), Intelligence: 4 (Analytical), Charisma: 4 (Sweet)

Known Comic Book Writer and Illustrator
Merits: Good Old Boy, Trivia Champ, Inner Strength
Flaws: Compulsion: Muttering/Talking to himself under his breath (Will be written in blue)
Limits/Triggers: None

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Dickson Rourke
Theurge Representative
Posts: 1210
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2019 4:27 pm

Re: Learn to be Dauntless

Post by Dickson Rourke » Sat Aug 24, 2019 9:19 am

Dickson Rourke, heals the prey
Fostern Homid Fianna Theurge
Chr:2 App:3
Pure breed:2 spirit herit: 3(Animals-stag) Rage:2
Mixed Morph Impatient nightmares curiosity

Speaks with a light irish accent that gets stronger the more upset or drunk he gets.

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